


Randomness

by Zeodyme



Category: Pet Shop of Horrors
Genre: Gen, prompt AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeodyme/pseuds/Zeodyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when you put me and B-chan under the same roof for an extended period of time. A plot-bunny story we just had to write. Enjoy, but don't expect frequent updates. Sorry!</p><p>Lot of other series mentioned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Randomness

My friend and I moved into an apartment together when we started college. We have lots of fun together in San Fransisco, California. We're also huge anime freaks, or fangirls if you will. Professional fangirls that squee when necessary. With the amount of DVD's, manga, and miscellaneous games we have we're sitting on a fortune.

During our free, non school days we like to explore the city and all it has to offer. The stores are many and varied, our favorites being the oriental ones with incense and pocky, with the chance of more anime. So, as you can guess, our favorite haunt is Chinatown. And, with the free time we have, we're actually quite well known there.

One day we were visiting our favorite restaurant, the Miren De, and the servers started talking amongst themselves about this new shop that had just opened not too far from the place. We, of course, were very curious about said shop. However, since we hadn't told them that we knew Chinese, we couldn't just ask about it. We had acted like regular bubbly tourists, when really we knew almost all of the language between the two of us.

So, ever so casually, we asked what they were talking about. They glanced at each other and then smiled secretively.

"There is a new shop near here that just opened," one said.

"Since you two are in an apartment, I don't think it'd be good for you to go," the other stated.

"Sounds like fun, we'll go check it out."

I laughed softly at that, then asked for the exact location. The two servers reluctantly gave us the directions, which made us all the more eager to go. We left after paying for our meals, following the known streets. The shop wasn't very far, in fact we had known the old owner. So we were surprised at the already apparent transformation to the outside of the shop.

We looked around a bit for a sign that would give us a hint as to the nature of the shop. There wasn't one, which we guessed was because the new owner had just moved in. One glance between us and we knew what the other was thinking.

"Let's go!" we both shouted.

And so we descended down the stairs and practically threw open the doors. The shop is lit sparingly, showing a path and not much else. We glanced around for a bit, moving slightly further inside. I kept looking at the dark shapes, trying to figure out what kind of shop this was.

"I'm sorry, we're not open for business yet."

Our eyes instantly focused in the direction the voice had come from. It was deep and rich, with only a slight Chinese accent. A figure appeared in the dimness, coming forward. We couldn't see the person clearly, which is why we were still there.

"Pardon our intrusion," I said smoothly. "We knew the last owner of this place and wanted to see what the shop will be like now."

"I see. You are welcome here, but please come back in a few days."

"Okay. Oh! My name's Belinda, and this is Megan," my friend said.

I smiled and bowed slightly when introduced. We watched as the person finally came to where we could see him. And we knew it was a male because he was wearing a chiongsam. But at that point, no introductions were needed. Ours eyes widened when we recognized him, right as he started introducing himself.

"Greetings to you both. I am known as Count D."

A quick glance was shared between us girls, then Belinda turned her head and started rubbing her temples. I looked back to D, checking his eyes. A shiver ran through me when I confirmed that it was THE Count D. The mismatched violet and gold orbs looked between us curiously, and I remembered something significant. There was a very high chance that any of the D's could read minds, which was not at all good for us.

"Nice to meet you. Oh my! Look at the time, we'll be late for class! Come on Belinda."

I bowed, grabbed my friend's arm, and made the fastest walking retreat I could. Which, considering my five-foot, ten-and-a-half-inch height, is quite fast. Belinda let out a brief noise of protest, then turned and kept up. We were several blocks away by the time I decided to slow down. My fellow fangirl glared up at me, daring me to ever do that again and still see my manga.

"And just when did I become something you could drag along behind you?" she asked.

"Um... When I remembered that D might possibly be able to read our minds?"

"And that is a problem because...?"

I turned enough to give her what she at one point had called the "maniacal grin of impending bishie humiliation".

"Oh. Riiight. THAT."

"Yes, this, the urge of the fangirl! Close call, though. Mmn, leather and chains..."

"I don't even want to know."

I let out a soft cackle, which made Belinda grin. We talked lightly for the rest of the walk back to our apartment. We didn't really have school today, so we played around on various games to pass the time. I actually beat my old high score on the first Inuyasha game, earning a two minute victory dance.

Then it was time for dinner. Which in our book means plotting time. We usually talk and try to get plot bunnies during this time. But now our attention was on securing this rare find. I had what I thought was a good idea, so I laid it out for Belinda. Afterwards she gave me a blank stare before laughing.

"Oh man! That would be awesome if it worked."

"Yeah, it would put me in a bit of a bind, though."

"Still, beating him at his own game! The look on his face will be priceless!"

"Too true. You'll bail me out if it doesn't work, right?"

"After making sure the evidence is safe."

"Ack! That thing will be fine, worry about me staying alive!"

"As long as I get T-chan."

My head slipped from my hand and landed on the table with a dull thud. Belinda started laughing louder, then suddenly stopped.

"Hey! You can't steal my habits!"

"You steal mine! Turnabout is fair play."

"And quit quoting old dead guys!"

"No way, those guys had the best lines. Except for one."

"Oh? Dare I ask which one?"

"Nnnnnarroow!"

I swiped a hand over the top of my head as I produced said sound. We both immediately starting laughing. Ah, the loveliness of private jokes. We went to bed after refining the plan, closing any and all loop holes we could find.

The next day we did have school. And it was the one day that we spent almost all of the day in that 'prison.' To further irk us, we didn't have any classes together today either. So we were left to our own musings and ways. By the time our classes were over I was wiped.

Belinda agreed to wait until tomorrow to go back to D's. We went out for dinner, a simple American fast-food place. Then it was straight home and into bed without preamble.

The morning sun burned. And I mean burned, the shades were supposed to stay down for a reason! I jolted out of bed, landing on the floor and hearing laughter at my predicament. I pushed myself up and half-heartedly glared at Belinda. She smiled and waved before exiting my room. I followed, still half asleep.

My mind cleared after a shower and breakfast. I had to get my friend back for her stunt this morning, but I'd do that later. Even if I did have the perfect idea in mind. Right now, we were fixing to try our hand at deceiving a mind-reader.

We left the apartment about eight, walking calmly to the shop. Every so often we'd look at each other and grin, then scowl at the same time to remind ourselves not to think about what we were fixing to do. That was a little harder than it should have been.

Finally we stood in front of the doors to the now properly labeled shop. I took a moment to look at the sign, "Count D's Petshop." Just like we had expected. However, an exceptionally loud squee cut my musings off quickly.

Belinda and I locked gazes, our eyes wide with surprise. We both knew that sound by heart. Without a second thought we went in, the bell on top of the door chiming. Instead of waiting we navigated into the sitting room, seeing exactly what we had dreaded.

Two girls were seated on a couch across from D. They had hearts in their eyes and huge grins on their faces. My face was a more complete mask of serene pleasantness than even D could manage as I observed the scene. Belinda had gone the opposite way, narrowed eyes and a frown making her look deadly.

The three noticed us soon after we entered. A hiss left one of the females, allowing me to gauge their rank. Count D looked at us with both confusion and relief. We ignored him for now, focusing on getting rid of the unwelcome guests. They spoke first, as was protocol.

"What claims have you?" asked one.

"We claim time, location, and rank," I replied very politely.

"We challenge all your claims," the second stated. "State your time."

"One day, eleven hours, forty-two minutes, eight seconds," Belinda answered immediately.

I had to suppress my smirk at the look of horror on the others' faces. Oh, we obviously just won that round. Thank goodness Belinda kept track of time. I had a reputation with clocks and watches that surpassed Kakashi's, which is one of my very many reasons it's good to be friends with B-chan. Heh. Another good private joke.

"F-fine! Give your proximity."

"Three blocks east by one-half block north. Second floor, south-west corner."

"Gak!"

I saw Belinda give in to her smirk at the startled reaction. I was good with location and distance, though I'd had to find a compass when we moved in to figure out the side of the building we were in. We had won this battle already, so we had the next move. Belinda, being slightly lower than me in rank, inquired the last bit.

"State your ranks."

"Five point three," hissed the first.

"Four point eight," murmured the second. "And yours?"

"One point four," said Belinda smugly.

"One point one," I stated.

It was with a high level of satisfaction that we watched the two mid-rank fangirls turn white. The rules were the lower your rank, the higher on the scale you are. There was a level zero, but that was really hard to get to. It was almost unheard of to meet a high-one, much less two working together. The two were scared, and with good reason.

"The terms are valid, the facts in our favor. We bode you no ill, so long as we don't see you here again," I stated softly.

In seconds the two girls had scrambled off the couch and were fleeing to the door. I moved and plopped onto one of the vacated cushions as the door shut harshly behind the low ranks. Belinda sat beside me and let out a sigh, relaxing. The icy mask that I'd held since spotting the other females melted, being replaced by my real smile.

The count was staring at us like we had grown extra heads or something. I didn't blame him. Most people's first encounter with warring fangirl factions was very confusing. But it'd had to be done, otherwise he'd have been claimed by those two low-levels.

"Dare I ask what just happened?" he finally asked.

"Not really. It's complicated, just know that we saved you from them," I chirped.

"...Thank you?"

The thanks that was obviously a question sent both me and Belinda into laughter. I kept my mind blank of the plan, which should start soon. That had been a close call, and I for one would not chance that again. After we settled from the cute reaction we started into the rehearsed script.

"Hey, count? I've been wanting a pet for awhile now, but our apartment only allows really small animals. Do you think you could supply me with something cute?" asked Belinda.

"I'm sure we can find something," he said, smiling mask back in place.

With that D stood, motioning for us to follow him. He didn't go towards the partially hidden doors that we knew led to the more 'exotic' pets, but to the regular displays. The two chatted lightly, discussing the pros and cons of the different pets. I smiled forlornly, allowing my thoughts to take a slightly dark turn.

I noticed the exact moment that the count picked up on this. He turned slightly to look at me, still talking to Belinda. I forced my smile to be brighter, though I didn't clear my thoughts. His eyes narrowed briefly, then the look was gone and he was fully dedicated to B-chan again. My lips quirked upwards into a smirk, then the smile vanished as we went back to the sitting area.

The two went over care procedures and possible entertainment. I noticed in quiet satisfaction that D kept glancing at me. He had probably picked up from Belinda that I almost always smiled, and if I didn't something was wrong. I was carefully keeping my face blank as they bartered about food and price for all of it.

Then everything was nicely arranged. As my fellow fangirl dug out the money D turned openly to me. I recognized that look, it said I could be in serious trouble if this didn't go right. It said there was possibly a pet in the back with my name on it, written and paid for in my blood.

"What about you?" he asked politely. "Don't you wish for anything?"

"Ah... Yeah. But it's not possible."

"This shop sells love, hope, and dreams. I'm sure I can give you what you desire."

...Hoo boy. I knew that line by heart. Scratch the possible, that furry death pet was looking more probable by the second.

"I don't know. It wouldn't be easy."

"Perhaps, but wouldn't it be worth it in the end?"

"..."

I chewed my lower lip, thinking his offer over. It was all part of the act, of course, but a hugely important part. If I gave in too soon we wouldn't get what we needed. As the seconds ticked by I thought I could feel his presence in my mind, so I blurted out something to throw him off.

"I can't trust just anyone with this," I stated.

"I assure you, I will personally take care of everything."

"You will? But, can you really do this?"

"I can and I will. You can put your faith in me, I will not disappoint you."

Belinda was shaking beside me. He had just thoroughly ensnared himself in our trap. Time to pull the fun part, then we could get down to business. It was getting harder not to give myself away.

"Oh... wow. This is just... so sudden. You're sure you do?"

"I do-"

"I do too!" I cried, cutting him off. "So, I think we have next weekend off right, Belinda?"

Belinda nodded, obviously holding her laughter back. We had him so bad, and he didn't even know it. I myself was fixing to bust a lung or something from holding it in. And the look on D's face wasn't helping.

"You're free then right?"

"Yes, but why?"

"That's the best time. I have a few connections, so you don't have to worry about everything."

"...What are you talking about?" he finally asked.

"Well, if we're getting married we obviously need to set a date."

And so two fangirls brought about what the world had never before seen, and probably would never see again. A sputtering, indignant, speechless, horrified, shocked, and confused beyond belief Count D. Belinda and I finally broke at the maraud of emotions that played over the normally static face.

Our laughter died out a minute later. We exchanged a nudge as a way of congratulating ourselves, then turned with twin grins back to a simmering D. I allowed the plan to play in my mind, knowing Belinda was doing the same. We left out the very last part, the one that hadn't come yet. But we could tell he'd been looking by the way he blanched.

"Thank you so much, D! I'll be the best wife ever," I teased.

"I call best man!" stated Belinda loudly.

"You can't call that, you're female."  
"Yeah, and I won't be caught dead wearing a dress. Your point?"

"Point being-"

"Enough!" D interrupted.

"What's wrong, darling?"

D let out a gagging sound and Belinda smothered a fresh bout of laughter. My smirk kept growing as I tactfully tortured the count. He wasn't getting off easy. I was having far too much fun for that.

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" he asked.

"Not really. It took a lot of work to get this right, and I won't be deterred easily."

I had set the bait, and saw the obvious reaction to it. He knew now that there was a way out of the current doom he was in. He also knew it probably wouldn't be all that much better, but it would lack the shackles of marriage. That alone would be enough to make him try.

"There's something you want," he murmured.

"Perhaps," I relented.

"Ah, no! There's no way you could give up this opportunity Megan!" cried Belinda.

And just like that the tables seemed to turn. I looked over at Belinda, blinking. She had a fierce look on her face, obviously trying to persuade me in favor of keeping the marriage arrangement.

"How many can say they're to be wed to a bishie?"

"Yes... I see..." I murmured.

"I won't let you just throw away this opportunity! Surely there will be others you can bind later-"

"Bind? You can do a binding?" interrupted D.

"Yes. All of us can. Simple stuff really."

"If that's what you want I have no objections," he stated quickly.

"What?! You can't be serious! There's no way we'd settle for that after all we've done!" squeaked Belinda.

"She hesitated and gave away that she'd rather do a binding than be married!"

"Says you! How would you know what she really wants?"

I watched for a few minutes as they continued the edged banter. Then I chuckled softly, startling both of them. The look on D's face was one of cautious hope, while Belinda held a triumphant grin on hers. I smiled before speaking, focusing on D's forehead instead of his eyes. I wasn't going to take chances now, I knew what that gold eye could do.

"What would you do to get out of the marriage?" I asked him.

Belinda let out a defiant cry. I silenced her with a raised hand, still focused on D. He answered truthfully, though a bit hesitantly.

"Almost anything."

"Hmm."

I sat back and closed my eyes, thinking it over. In the depths of my mind I already knew how this would turn out. The play was coming to a close, the final act was under way. I smiled suddenly, standing and moving around the table to be next to D.

"Very well. I claim thee as mine and mine alone. My witness is Black Cat, level one point four. My voluntary prize is Count D, the kami of PoH, with midnight hair and duel colored eyes. Upon the hidden name of Zeodyme I bind thee forever and a day, no other shall lay a hand on you without my permission. I perfect this binding, consensual contract with a level two seal."

Count D had sat, stunned though my spell. I got the odd feeling that he hadn't quite believed me when I'd said we could do bindings. After I finished speaking I leaned forward and captured his lips in a quick and chaste kiss. I pulled back and smiled down at him, my work done.

"The ties are woven. You are mine," I said in a singsong voice.

"Our work here is done for now," added Belinda.

"Yeah! I'm glad you agreed to this. Voluntary contracts are exceptionally hard to break," I stated.

"We'll be going now, but you can expect us again tomorrow."

With that we both left the rather stunned kami behind. Emerging into the cooling air we blinked, not having realized how much time had passed. We shrugged and headed to our pad. Once we were back inside the apartment we dropped our stuff and spun around, doing a victory dance. Our laughter rang loudly as we pranced through the rooms, eyes alight with mischief.

We finally settled in front of the TV with a huge bowl of popcorn and chocolate mixed together, watching some random badly-made horror flick. The effects were way too overdone to be frightening, and were more funny then most would imagine.

"That went a lot better than I thought it would," stated Belinda after a short silence.

"Really? I thought I was fuzz food for a few minutes there," I stated, shuddering.

"True. Do you think you'd've gotten someone we know from the series?"

"Doubt it. I'm different then those idiots."

"Hnn," she hummed, looking thoughtful.

"Hey! Not funny!"

"Like how we didn't get T-chan isn't funny."

"I told you, that happens during the next visit. If we can catch him, that is. I don't know about you, but I'm not really looking forward to chasing something that has sharp, pointy teeth."

Belinda laughed and then silence returned for a few minutes. I glanced at the covered cage sitting on the table.

"So, we really keeping the spy?" I asked.

"The wha-oh! Yeah, I guess so. Might brighten up the place."

"And let the kami in on our insanity."

"True that. And you're one to talk, actually mentioning in the binding what he is."

"Eh, it'd slip eventually. Besides, I'm more worried about the other three D's."

"Do tell. Me wants information."

"There's S.D., or Sofu D, the 'grandfather'. Then there's L.D., or Lord D, the 'father'. Of course there's also R.D., Reborn D, as seen in the last PoH manga."

"Right. And there could be even more."

"Pleeeease don't say that!" I whined. "You're predictions have a weird habit of coming true."

We chuckled as memories of said predictions hit us. The good and bad, all usually turning out funny in some way. I looked again towards the cage, motioning silently to bring my friend's attention to it as well.

"So, what'cha gonna call it?"

"Dunno. It's male, though. Not an it."

"Fine, fine. Hmmm, with those specific colors we could easily call him Yami or Atem," I offered.

"Hah! After the pharoh, phuleeze!"

"What?! But then he'd be Kaiba Bait."

"...Okay, I'll bite. How'd he be Kaiba bait?"

"Angsty rich brat can't go on without his greatest rival."

"Pfft. You win, points to you. But seriously, I'd rather not name him that. Any more suggestions?"

"...Mokuba?"

"Argh! What is it with you and Kaiba all of a sudden?"

"It occurred to me that having the richest, and one of the hottest, late-teen-early-twenties bachelor could greatly ease our anime quest."

"...Poor Seto. He's no longer a cat, he's a piggy bank."

I fell over laughing at the blunt way Belinda had said it. She smirked down at me, daring me to contradict her. I stopped after a bit and we continued debating over the name. I threw out several funny, yet accurate, names. We finally settled on Ander. It was another joke that would be shared between the two of us.

We set things into place before heading off to bed. Before I closed my door I heard Belinda get a parting shot that had me in stitches.

"Night Megan-chan, night Ander-san."


End file.
